🔗 Share this article

Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to find out that an online journalist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college for toilet purposes during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting where the toilets were, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit from the England national team following a short conversation in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Live Updates

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|